Troubled Thoughts
by butterflygurly10
Summary: Kagome goes home from Christmas and sorts out her thoughts. While back in the feudal era, Inuyasha sorts out his feelings too. RR!
1. Thoughts

Disclaimer: I no own Inuyasha. Please don't sue. I'm poor anyway! ^_^ This is my first Inuyasha fic so please review and tell me my mistakes. Thanks!

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Troubled Thoughts

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Chapter 1: Thoughts

Dark, gray clouds filled the sky, covering the once bright sun. They blocked the light, creating a dreary, depressing feeling to the city. The winds picked up and howled against the buildings and whistled whenever they came through. 

Kagome folded her arms closer against her chest, determined to make it home through the dreadful weather and make it home before the storm hit. Her hair was whipping all around from the winds, and she clutched her arms closer then ever. At last, she reached her destination, and she sprinted up the steps of the shine.

"Oka-san? (A/n sp?) Souta? Anyone home?", she called. She walked into the kitchen and found a note sitting upon the table.

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Dear Kagome,

Hope you had a nice day with your friends. Your brother and grandfather came along with me to go grocery shopping and to pick up some other stuff. We should arrive home in a couple of hours or so. There's more supplies in your room if you're home. I love you and please clean up your mess if you eat. 

Love,

Mom xoxo

After reading the note she decided to have some hot coco and chicken noodle soup for lunch. (Mmmm I love hot coco in the winter! lol) After finishing her meal, she put the dishes in the sink. She went up to room and put her backpack down. Christmas was only a couple of days away. Her mother kept asking what she wanted, and all Kagome replied was to spend a nice Christmas with her family. Her mother kept bugging her, so made a lie and said some winter clothes would be nice. What she really wanted couldn't be wrapped. All she wanted was for _him _to like her. 

She took off her shoes and sat down on her bed, her brown eyes gazing at the floor. 'Like that'll ever happen', she thought to herself. ' When he looks at me all he sees is her. Kikyo. He's still in love with her. So how could he possibly like me, if he can't get over her? Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.' She questioned herself. ' That's all he sees, not Kagome, but Kikyo. Will I ever be out of her shadow?', her mind screamed. 

Tears were now openly slid down her face, landing in a pool on the floor. Just yesterday she left the feudal era to come back to spend Christmas with her family. 

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* Flashback * 

Kagome walked up to the God tree where Inuyasha had been sitting for the past hour. She was determined to win this argument with him this time. She can remember all the times that he got so irritated every time she asked to go home. But she decided to make a promise to him so he would have to agree this time. * Evil Smirk * 

"Inuyasha, can I talk to you for a minute?", Kagome asked coyly. Her heart was racing and she couldn't understand why. 'Maybe I'm just nervous that he'll say no. Yea, nervous heheh.' 

"What did you want now wench?", he retorted.

"CanIpleasegobacktomytimeforChristmasjustforaweek?", she said in all but one breath.

"WHAT?!"

"Inuyasha, Can I please go back to my time for Christmas just for a week..."

"No!", he said cutting her off.

"But."

"No. We need to find jewel shards."

" Just listen. If you let me go, then when I get back, I promised I won't go home for 3 months!", she counter, hoping he would say yes.

Inuyasha had to think about this. He placed one claw under his chin and the other on his elbow going deep into thought. 'If I let her go just for one lousy week, then she has to stay 3 months here without returning home. But what if we have a fight and she breaks our deal. Aha! I have the answer.' 

"Under a couple conditions that you agree, then I'll let you go."

"Okay. Anything."

"Promise me that when you come back, if we get into a fight you won't run back home like you always do."

"Sure Inuyasha..."

He jumped down from the tree and stared straight at her with a stern look. 'How come every time I look into those golden orbs, I feel so secure and safe with him?' 

"And", he interrupted her again. "Don't go out with that Hodo kid. I don't trust him."

She giggled happily. "I promise Inuyasha."

She ran up to him and gave him a hug, unaware of what she was doing. Inuyasha turned 3 shades of red and returned the hug.

"Now, get going before I change my mind.", he said smugly pushing her away from him.

She then proceeded to give him innocent kiss on his left cheek and ran into the hut to get her belongings. Inuyasha stood there stunned. He placed his left claw where Kagome kissed him.

'Why do I have these feelings whenever I'm around her. I'm _supposed_ to love Kikyo. But when she betrayed me, everything I ever felt for her left me. And then Kagome comes and instantly I feel like I have to protect her and keep her for myself. Why? Oh, I don't think I could ever speak the words out loud. Maybe I'm just afraid she's going to reject me like Kikyo. But the two of them are so different. I think I rather be with....'

"Inuyasha I'll see you in a week! Thanks so much again! You don't know how much this means to me!", she shouted from the bone eaters well to him. While inside the hut, she said farewell to Sango, Shippo, Keade, and the perverted monk. (A/N: Sorry I forgot how to spell his name and I don't wanna put it in and feel dumb cuz it's spelled wrong! lol)

She leaped into the well and immediately the area around her turned black and blue and she was floating in the air, and then the next minute she was falling. Finally she landed on soiled ground and was back home. She climbed out of the well and ran inside the house. She found her mom sitting at the kitchen table reading. 

"Hey mom!", shouted Kagome. She ran up to her mom before she can say anything and gave her a hug. "I'll be staying for the ENTIRE week." Her mother smiled at her and returned her daughters hug. "Oh honey, I'm so happy. We can finally spend Christmas all together.

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* End of flashback * 

Kagome always missed the feudal era when she was home and when she was there it was vice versa. She then laid down on her bed to get into a better position. Sometimes she would lie awake at night and believe she was meant to live in Inuyasha's time. She felt so alone back in her own time. No one would ever believe her if she told them she could transport back so many years ago. She liked to keep to herself during the school hours and daydream about her and Inuyasha finally admitting their love to each other. But deep down in Kagome's heart she knew the truth. Her and Inuyasha were never meant to be.

Or were they?

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Well that's the first chapter. I'll try to update, depending if I get some reviews and everyone enjoyed it! Please take time to review and let me know my mistakes and what you would like to happen. Tell me if it sucks or add something or anything ya like! I'm thinking about making it Inuyasha and Kagome but if you prefer a different couple let me know! Thanks again! ^_^ P.S. I'm sorry if I'd made them OOC. I tried to make them as they are portrayed, but hey this is MY fic! lol


	2. Go to Her

Disclaimer: Let me check. Nope, still don't own Inuyasha. * Gets down on both knees and gives you the puppy eyes* Please review my story. You'll make me the happiest person alive. Ok I didn't put a "summary" for the story, so here's a little background. Kagome goes home for Christmas and thinks about Inuyasha and her feelings for him. And he does the same, but there's a surprise waiting for Kagome on Christmas. Thanks to the people who reviewed! Love ya! ^_^ Ok here we go.

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Troubled Thoughts

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Chapter 2: Go to Her

Knock, knock, and knock. "Kagome.", Souta opened her door slightly to poke his head through. To his dismay, Kagome was still sleeping with the sheets entwined between her legs and arms. He stepped quietly over to her bed and stood before her. He lowers his head so that it was right in front of her face.

"KAGOME, WAKE UP!", Souta shouted in her ear.

"Ahh!"

The once sleeping Kagome was now face first on the ground. She quickly got up. Her mood going from calm to anger in seconds. "What did you do that for, Souta?", she practically screamed at him. "Kagome, it snowed last night, and there's at least 6 inches on the ground. Please come out and play with me?", he asked her with the puppy dogface.

'How could I ever say no to that kawaii face? I won't be a kid forever so I might as well.' "Sure", she said happily. "Now go and let me put on some clothes."

"Okay. When you get outside you have to come and find me ok?"

"All right I will."

She went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth and combed her hair. She then proceeded to go to her room. Once there she changed out of her pjs and threw them in the laundry basket. She went over to her dresser and pulled out some pants, sweaters, socks, and underwear. After 10 minutes of getting dress, she headed downstairs and out the door.

Kagome was wearing sweatpants and over them snow pants, two pairs of socks, a shirt, a sweater over that, and then a coat. She also was wearing snow boots, two pairs of gloves, a scarf and earmuffs. She looked like a giant, walking marshmallow. 

Once outside Kagome lifted her head to glance at the sky. The sky was a dull gray, slowing but surely the snow was falling. At times it quickened, but returned back to its normal pace. The young miko closed her eyes and then began to start spinning in circles. She started off by going slow, but then progressed to go faster. She opened her eyes and everything was flashing by her so fast. Because she lost her focus on her feet, she tripped and fell, plopping into the snow on her backside. She stayed like that for a few minutes until. 

BAM!

Before she even had time to react, Souta threw a snowball at Kagome's face when she was just sitting in the snow.

"Why you little baka, your gonna pay for that!", she screamed and began chasing after him. 

"Uh oh." After seeing Kagome get up, Souta decided to run like there was no tomorrow. He headed towards the backyard, but she was to fast for him. Before he turned the corner, Kagome tackled him to the ground. She straddled him and began to shove snow in his face.

"Now were even!"

"Gees Kagome, it was just a snowball."

"Well, you didn't have to throw it right in my face!"

"But it was funny! The look on your face was priceless!"

"Ha-ha, very funny Souta. Now I'm going in. Don't stay out here to long."

"K. Bye."

Kagome walked up the steps into the shrine and stepped inside. She closed the door behind her and started to take off all her clothes and she threw them to the side. She headed upstairs to her room. Once there, she opened the door, closed it behind her and walked straight to her bed, and sat down on it She then started singing a song she wrote just yesterday when she came home.

*_I still recall every summer night like it was yesterday. _

The time could never end and my friends were family.

Nothing mattered more than the loyalty we had.

Now I'm a world away from everything we shared.

I had something better waiting ahead.

I try to take control of my heart.

I had something better, but I'll tear it down and I'll tape it up by my own design.

I fall. Bring back the days.

Three story parking lot.

The air is never dry.

As the city falls asleep days bleed into the night.

The table set the stage for a life of memories, but I'm a world away from everything.

I fall apart as time passes by. 

I fall apart but the memories never die.

I still recall every summer night. 

It seems like yesterday, but I'm still a world away.*

Silent tears were now streaming after she finished singing the song. Unnoticed to her, her okaa-san was standing right by the door. She was going to knock and talk to Kagome, but heard her sing and decided to listen. She now knew the only thing that could ever make Kagome happy. But could she really make her daughters dreams come true? 

It was the day before Christmas, and Kagome's mother wanted everything to be perfect for Christmas tomorrow. She was hoping somebody would come by so she could talk to them. 

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* Feudal Era * 

Miroku walked over to Inuyasha, who was currently sitting under the God tree. It was obvious what Inuyasha was thinking about. More like _whom_ he was thinking about.

"Why don't you just go to her time and give her some flowers for this Christmas thing."

"Nobody asked you, pervert."

"Well, I can tell just by the way you've been acting all week. You miss her, so just go visit her for the day. Or better yet, confess to her how you truly feel. Put her fear to rest."

"What feelings? I have no clue what you're talking about. And what fears would Kagome have?", he asked with concern written all over his face.

"Well," began Miroku, "Think about it. You always compare her to Kikyo. Would you like it, if you were always compared to somebody who looks like you? You make her feel bad and probably convinced her that you still love Kikyo."

"No.", he said giving the monk an icy glare. 

"So, just go to her and tell her. What do you have to lose?"

"Well what happens if.. Wait, why the hell am I taking advice from _you!_", he shouted. 

"I was only trying to help. Gees. Maybe if you get some action, you won't be angry all the time."

Whack. Miroku fell to the ground unconscious after being smacked upside the head by Sango's boomerang. 

"Just go visit her Inuyasha. I'm sure she'll be very happy and surprised. I bet she misses you to.", she said sweetly. 

"Feh. I'm going for a walk I'll back later."

Sango laughed to herself, knowing that he wasn't going for a walk. But he was going to see Kagome and he was heading straight towards the direction of the bone eaters well. She turned away and headed into Keade's hut. 

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Yay to me for writing another chapter! Hope you like this one. What do you think is going to happen in the next chapter? Will Inuyasha confess his love, or will Kagome slip through his hands? Lol sounds a soap opera. I also do not own Story of the Year's song " Page Avenue." I suggest that you all go out and buy the cd. It's awesome! Please R/R! Thanks!


	3. Surprises

A/N: Sorry I haven't updated with the next chapter. I kinda lost motivation for this story. I was hoping for a lot of reviews on the second chapter and boy, I was surprised! I know I'm not the best writer, but I'm trying. Hope everyone had a nice Christmas (or anything else you celebrate) and I hope you got everything you wanted! Well, anyway here is the next chapter and I hope you enjoy it and please R/R. Thanks a lot! ^_^

P.S.: For people who like Kikyo, I'm sorry but there is some Kikyo bashing in here. So if you get offended, you were warned! 

Disclaimer: Haha!!! You think I own Inuyasha! * Falls on the floor laughing * Whoa, that was a good one! 

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Troubled Thoughts

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Chapter 3: Surprises

After talking to the monk and Sango, Inuyasha had all the confidence he needed to go and see Kagome. He was determined and ready to tell Kagome how he really felt. He raced towards the well and made it there in no time. Once there he jumped in. 

He landed on the ground with a loud _thump. _He leaped out of the well and looked around for her. All around he snow covered everything. He looked up and the sky was a dark gray. He walked to the backdoor to the shine and was taken aback when the door was flung open. "Inuyasha, I need to talk to you." "Umm, okay?" "Kagome has been miserable the past couple of days and I know what's wrong."

After hearing that last statement, Inuyasha's brain froze. 'She knows how I feel about Kagome. But how? I mean I never said anything to her or acted that way around her. Maybe because Kagome and her have a mother-daughter bond. 

"Inuyasha, hello?" Mrs. H (A/N, sorry I forgot how to spell her last name! lol) she said waving her hand in front of Inuyasha's face. He was immediately brought back from his trance. "What?", he replied practically shouting at her. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Well, what is it?"

"Well come closer so I can tell you so that no body hears."

"Okay."

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* The next day (Christmas!!) *

"Kagome, wake up its **Christmas**! Come 'on, I'm waiting for you to get up so I can open my presents!" (I hate doing that. My brother likes to sleep til 12 and it sucks cuz u got to wait for him to wake up and blah! Enough of my comments.)

"All right Souta, I'm coming."

Kagome went to the bathroom and brushed her teeth to get out the morning breath smell. She combed her hair and headed downstairs. Her mom and grandpa were waiting on the couch, smiling at her. Souta was next to the tree on the floor, already holding a present. "I'm here, let's get this over with." Her mom handed her a present and she knew it was already clothes.

Ten minutes of "Yes, I've always wanted this." And shouts from Souta all the presents were open. Souta ran upstairs to hook up his gamecube (I love my gamecube. It's my best friend! Lol) Kagome got up from the couch and was about to head upstairs. "Wait Kagome, there's one more present for you." She turned around and saw a huge box in front of her. She went over to the gift and took off the wrapping paper. Under it was a giant cardboard box. On it said "To open pull this side off." She did as the box said to and gasped at what was inside. 

Inuyasha was inside the box in sitting in an Indian position with a big red bow on his head and holding a red rose for Kagome. (Who wouldn't wanna get Inuyasha for a Christmas present?!) The look on her face was priceless. She didn't expect **_him _**to be her Christmas gift. 'Oh my gosh, my wish came true. Wait a minute. There's something fishy about this. I hope I'm not dreaming.' She pinched her cheek just to make sure. "Ouch.", she said aloud. 

"Merry Christmas Kagome. Here this rose is for you."

"Inuyasha, it's beautiful. Roses are my favorite."

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* Flashback *

"Inuyasha, I think it would be a great idea if you hid in a box tomorrow morning and surprise Kagome. And I'll get you a rose so you can give it to her. They're her favorite. Then you can talk to her and then I think Kagome will be happy once more."

"That's a good idea. Sure I'll do it."

"Oh thank you so much Inuyasha.", she put her arms around Inuyasha and gave him a motherly hug.

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* End of Flashback *

"Kagome, let's go up to your room so we can talk."

"Sure Inuyasha."

The two headed upstairs to Kagome's room. She opened the door and proceeded in with Inuyasha right behind her. Instantly his nose was bombarded with the scent of Kagome. 'I always loved the way she smelled. Just like cherry blossoms and vanilla.' Inuyasha sat on the bed and Kagome pulled up a chair so they were face to face. He took her hands into his and looked into her eyes. 

"Kagome, I've haven't really been that good with explaining to you how I feel at times. I know I treated you badly but I was confused. I **_did _**love Kikyo at one time but I couldn't see myself with someone who is so cold-hearted and evil. But after all we've been through; I finally opened my eyes to see something in front of me that I never saw before."

'What is he talking about? I mean he did love Kikyo, so is he trying to say that he. No! It couldn't be, could it?'

'Oh great, Inuyasha. Smooth, very smooth. What happens if she says she doesn't love a hanyou like you? No, Kagome is different from Kikyo. She would love me no matter if I was a hanyou or not'

Kagome could feel his hands shaking in hers. His face was wet from sweating so much. 'Wow, I've never seen Inuyasha so nervous.

"K-Kagome, I-I love you. With all my heart and it's **you **I wanna be with for the rest of my life. I hope you feel the same way."

Tears sprang up in her eyes. 'Oh my gosh, I can't believe he loves me and not that dead corpse! ME!!! Man, I'm the luckiest girl alive!'

"Oh Inuyasha!" She threw her arms around his neck and they tumbled backwards on her bed. "I love you too Inuyasha. But I was afraid you were still in love with Kikyo and that you hated me."

"I could never hate you Kagome. You treated me like you treat everyone else. You didn't care if I was a hanyou and that made me like you even more." He moved his head closer to hers closing in the gap between their lips. Although it was a short it kiss, it made both of them happy. 

"Now when are we gonna go back and find more jewel shards?"

"Inuyasha!" She pushed him playfully on the arm. 

"You said I have a week off so I won't be going back for 3 more days! But how about you spend some time here with me?", she answered, giving him the puppy dog eyes.

"Feh.", he replied. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered "Thank you." 

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A/N: Okay I finished the story, well kinda. Any thoughts, comments, or criticisms? I don't know if I should make another chapter or a sequel to this story or just leave it alone. Well, I hope I get lots of reviews, but I will keep on dreaming about that one. If you have any ideas also, they are welcomed too! =) Thanks again! Xoxo


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